Life has a way of throwing curve balls at us and the best laid plans need to be reevaluated (I refer to those as Plan B, C and D). Those plans are often meant to keep us safe but what if we trusted in the process? Perhaps there is a bigger plan for us that we don't know about yet? So my question is, how do we limit ourselves?
Renovations on a house is a prime example where you start out with a plan but unforeseen challenges come up throughout the project that can provide additional financial burden or it can be an opportunity to do it differently. Sometimes you need to consider what part of the plan can continue and what needs to be abandoned altogether. TV shows like “Love it or List It” demonstrate this concept very well and the client doesn’t always like to change the vision they initially had.
Coaching has many similarities. When I first started working with a coach, I was derailed on a number of occasions as I started to “shift” and transform my thinking and my behaviours. There was a negative inner voice attempting to “saboteur” all the hard work I had been doing and keep me just the way I was versus what I could be. Thankfully, my foundation had a coach supporting my growth which allowed me to discover something beautiful – untapped potential. A part of me I didn’t know existed or I had covered up for years choosing to "play small" and keep my light dimmed so I wouldn't shine too bright. From time to time, I feel myself "playing small" in spite of the fact I have a "big vision" and one that would serve the community on a higher level - one that would set many souls on fire. A vision that creates connection to self and others.
What stops me? Fear, negative self-talk, scarcity or feelings of not being enough. Are they real fears or perceived fears?
For me, this was similar to “excavation” – removing rubble to build a solid foundation. Coaching has allowed me to excavate the best part of me and I am committed to continue this excavation process even though it can be really hard work (and scary at times) as we move outside of our comfort zone.
For this reason, I have become a coach to help others “excavate” and find their best selves. Forget the plan! Support the house and rebuild the foundation to a new and improved version.
With that being said, what area of your life would you like to excavate? Perhaps you are in a state of transition. In partnership with https://coverdalecounselling.ca/, we are offering a program just for you. One that will support your transition in a positive and gentle way.
Feel free to check out this program here https://www.facebook.com/events/2406683776269774/
This picture is a great example of giving up power. This dog would quickly take power if permitted and in this case, she completely surprised me by jumping up during a photo shoot and grabbing my hand. She doesn't normally do this and she took advantage of the situation - similar to when I am on the phone. How do animals know when you can't react or respond or know that you will choose to not respond? Intuition??
My family has quickly reminded me that I am doing the same thing with our new pup. Not setting clear, consistent boundaries and being firm. I have a vision of what I want within this relationship but I am not asserting leadership and she takes advantage of the situation. Imagine, I am the only one in the family she herds and quickly takes me by the boot to guide me along. In the case of the dog above, she barks at me when she wants her way.
Today, a light bulb was brightly lit as I reflected on these scenarios. Where else in my life do I need to clarify and establish clear boundaries? Where am I giving up power to please others? Where do I need to take the reins and course correct?
Anyone else out there feeling this way? Are you a "people-pleaser" and do not want to rock the boat or forget that it is you that is the captain of your own ship? To refrain from using your voice when the lines are being crossed? Does this help you or hurt you?
How many times do you need this reminder because this is a pattern behaviour that shows up time and time again? You are given life lessons to learn and how often do you turn a blind eye?
Isn't it time to take control, paint the vision, and steer straight ahead to achieve your dreams and live your passion and expand on your leadership?
As a leadership and life coach, I see this often. Given that a sense of belonging is one of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and one of our human basic needs, we want to please others and this often means "avoid conflict". However, avoiding conflict often perpetuates and damages key relationships making it difficult to "trust".
Are you seeing the trend? Giving up power, avoiding tough conversations, breaking trust.
How can one lead from this place? Isn't it time to reclaim and commit to your power?
The name of my company is "Soul on Fire" so I ask that you commit to reclaiming your power wherever it is needed in your life and live with a "Soul on Fire".
I am taking on new clients over the summer months so feel free to reach out for coaching. I know summer is busy so coaching can be done by phone or in person within 30 minute increments or customized for in person sessions - 1 hour, 2 hours, 1/2 day or full day, individuals or teams (with or without horses as my co-facilitators). Remember this is your ship to sail.
I am an experienced business woman, a certified leadership and life coaching and possess an MBA concentration in Human Resources.